I have stopped resisting. I'd say this is the last time, but, seriously, who am I even kidding by now? THIS WILL KEEP HAPPENING NO MATTER WHAT.

Fandom: it appears I am your bitch.

the way out is through | R | 8900 words | Written for kinkme_merlin. Prompt: Arthur/Merlin. When Arthur and Merlin go to drop Mordred they are followed by Uther's knights and all the druids are massacred and the three have to run with a bounty on their head.

BETA'D BY scifijunkie, THE LANCE TO MY DRE, WHO PEERS INTO THE SOUL OF MY FICS AND TELLS ME TO ADD MORE COMMAS. And a bedroll.

( the way out is through )

And, as is the custom, a song. Two songs. One to go with the fic, and one to go with the feeling of HSKJDFHK WEEKEND, SHIT, THAT'S AWESOME!

1. Mason Proper - Point A to Point B (aaahaha, "STEPHANIE, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU WAN'ED!")
   
2. Fol Chen - Cable TV (this one's HOT.)
   
   

Now, let the two days of uninterrupted sleep commence.

I. Well. Uhm. PORN.

Title: Freedom Hangs Like Heaven
Rating: POoOooOooORN
Word Count: About 9k
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Warnings: OH HELLO THERE, ANGRY EMO YET INSECURE ARTHUR!
Beta: The brains behind it all (y'know it), mastah scifijunkie! ♥
A/N: Written as a brain!melt reply to lizardspots's art for kinkme_merlin, Trusty Steed, (NC17). (And maybe also Afterglow, if you look close, because jhgshdgfdhg awwhh!) Idk why it's so long. I--I just don't know.
Summary: It's happened five times and they don't talk about it.

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Okay.

NO MORE PLOTLESS PORN UNTIL I FINISH BIG BANG.

. . . SERIOUSLY. I MEAN IT.

First, LINKS:

• Caught by cherrybina (R). I asked for M and A having awkward sexytimes after getting caught in a trap, AND OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT I GOT *_______* If this doesn't melt your brains, then there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
  
  
• bookshop's Bossy Arthur ficlet fest. DSJHDSHD so much fun to be had. RUN, do NOT walk over there and join the hilarity. <-- Bossy derryere to fit the mood, yis?

SECOND, uhhh . . . well.

So I was talking to emptybackpack about the miracle that is TAL. At some point I just spazzed out and went, LET'S DO A ROUNDUP OF OUR FAV EPS! Which led me to nosing through the archives, which I've been doing quite happily for the past few days. In that process, I came across a fair recently aired (but an old one all the same) ep called Numbers, and in the end of that ep there's this story by Lydia Davis read by Matt Malloy called Break It Down. And I remembered listening to this story the first time and just NOT MOVING OR BREATHING for the entire duration of it because of how amazing it was. So when I listened to it again I was like, DDD: because I didn't want it to be disappointing--like things usually are the second time around.

BUT IT WASN'T. And my heart broke ALL OVER AGAIN.

And then (because that's the natural reaction to that) I went, OKAY I NEED TO RUIN THIS BY WRITING FANFIC BASED ON IT.

I did, buuuut . . . it's. Well. Let's just say that I'm not going to link it anywhere (ETA: LIES, OBVIOUSLY :3) and that if you want, you're free to ignore the entire bit under the cut and just concentrate on the rest of the post. I'm blaming this on ~experimenting~

Cost/Benefit Analysis (or Early Morning Attempts at Coherent Thought). PG13 at worst, about 3800 words, M/A. Arthur is trying to figure out how much Merlin is costing him.

TITLE-MAKER AND BETA: Owner of all my posting-rights, scifijunkie. MOTHERFUCKING ♥, MER. ♥.

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Now, THIRD: a very important question. All-time favourite on-screen kiss? I really want to know this. In the form of youtube vids.

*just wants to watch people kiss*

I honestly don't know what mine is, BUT. There is one that I haven't been able to stop watching since last year, and every now and then I'd look it up again and replay it a million times and SIGH and CRY and SIGH and eat stuff. It's the one from Blueberry Nights, and I'm sure most of you know it. Because it's hot. And pretty. AND OMG ANGLE :3 :3

SO, after RPS, random porn and a kink!fic, there's only one logical next step in this fandom it seems.

Yeah. Genderbend.

ACTUALLY, actually, I didn't want write a genderbend--I wanted to write ONE scene from a hypothetical genderbend fic. Or two. BUT NOT A LOT. Obviously, I underestimated the hilarity that is Merlin with boobs. PROCEED W/ CAUTION.

The working title for this one was, 'Scenes from a Genderbend I'll Never Write', but I guess now it's more, 'Scenes from a Genderbend I Didn't Plan on Writing but Sort of Did Lolz Whoops'. Should I give this one a proper title this time, too? Still isn't an official Merlin fic. But okay. OKAY.

A Kind of Balance, (or: Scenes from a Genderbend I Didn't Plan on Writing but Sort of Did Lolz Whoops). 5800ish words, PG15 at worst, and if there's any kind of hint of an explanatory plot (there isn't, not really) then I'd blame draykonis and her arts for inspiring that part of the madness.

This one's for cherrybina, who inspired the entire idea in general by using the words 'breasts' and 'Merlin' in the same post. REPEATEDLY. Beta'd by the brilliant and ABNORMALLY dedicated scifijunkie ♥

Ridiculousness, exorbitant amounts of fluff and corniness await you behind that cut. Just so you know.

NOW,

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I'm sick. And woozy on ibuprofen. And grumpy. This is what happens when you bum around in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself.

UNEXPLAINED NECKING SNIPPET. For necking is my favourite. And I needed to balance all the angst glaring at me from my word doc. And the general angst that is me being sick. Clearly, chicks can get mancolds as well. Should've seen me last night. OH LOL, I wish I'd recorded every single 'I'm gonna diiiiiiieee I'm gonna diiieeeee' so I could play it back next time I'm sick and maybe not overreact as much.

...YEAH, AS IF.

Merlin/Arthur, PG13. Totally random neckporn. For scifijunkie, who looked it over and just generally deserves random necking.

( I asked for a hickey. Not a NECK TRAUMA. )